It is that time of year to make New Year's Resolutions, reflect on the previous year hopefully with little or no regrets, and concentrate on who and what lies sometimes at the end of our fingertips or in the adjacent cubicle.
I'm not immune to a bit of navel gazing, self-recrimination, and self-pitying, but what matters is how long I allow myself to remain in any of the aforementioned altered states. Navel gazing is all about staring in the mirror, amazed at who I was and what I accomplished. If this goes on for too long, days or weeks will pass me by. No, it's better to tabulate the hits and misses, and step away from the bathroom or full length mirror because someone else probably wants to adore their reflection.
The opposite for navel gazing is self-recrimination.
How many times have I berated myself for simple, silly, forgivable transgressions when all I have to do is remember to ask God for forgiveness and move on? I'd rather not say, but as with the theme of this blog, I'm looking ahead, not behind in order to improve my internal operating systems. I've been taught and read that worrying is a sin. Heaven knows that list is already overpopulated, so one less will lighten the load.
Self-pitying is self-recrimination's darker twin. I've recently began watching Intervention on A&E, and my heart goes out to those bold or foolish enough to have a camera crew follow them around as they live through their addiction(s). A recent episode struck a nerve. A young mother couldn't get over herself and her addiction because she was too busy feeling sorry for herself rather than focusing on recovery. My addictions aren't narcotics, prescription drugs, or alcohol, but for about ten minutes I identified with the snotting and crying woman sitting in the parking lot, confused about her next step.
Granny would always say to us, "Trouble is easy to get into, but hard to get out of." I took from this episode: to be careful who and what I ask for in 2010; to look both ways before crossing the street, and to slow down. Life is always better after a power nap or a full night's rest. If it's meant to be, it will happen.
I've resolved to dance with abandon, creative writing at least two hours a hour a day before bed or while the chickens are still asleep, and guide my PR clients to the best of my and my team's abilities, imagination, and vision. I've resolved not to personalize random blog or forum comments, or mumbled insults on the subways or buses. I've resolved to live each day as if it were my last. Tomorrow isn't promised, so it's best to live today.
I believe that all people and situations happen into our lives under the watchful eye of God. Inasmuch as I believe that, it can be difficult to accept at times. I've been doing my best to strengthen my faith that everything will work out for the best, even when dark clouds hang overhead, and I've left my umbrella at home because I didn't pay attention to early warning signs.
Oftentimes we struggle against ourselves, when it'd probably be best to wait out the temporary storm. When we're beset by malevolent spirits who seek to undo all the good deeds and rattle our foundation, remember that this too shall pass.
Mondays are typically filled with anxiety because it's the start of the work week, but the day follows Sunday, a traditional Christian church day. Why can't we change the script and look forward to Mondays, regarding than grumbling when the alarm clock sounds?
I've been firing off resumes to reenter the job market after several years of freelancing as an Adult Education/ESL/Accent Reduction Teacher. I have to let go of the anxiety that I'll lose something by returning to fulltime work outside the apartment or local community centers within walking distance of home.
Job interviews are meant, we hope, to select the best candidate at that time, rather than filling a racial quota, or reacting to mounting competitive pressures to fill a void at a company.
I'm not looking forward to playing daily games of office politics, wherein I must remember who's a member of which insular clique, and who's the boss's pet.
I will remind myself that upon successfully landing a fulltime job, that it is a job, and that it will not define who I am and what I stand for. I'll be paid contractor, only with a regular paycheck. I'll no longer have to hustle and jump through the freelance hoops of always being five days ahead of my current gig, while trying to complete it.
If need be, I'll step away from my desk and bow my head in prayer. Dear God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
Is life a series of moments in time strung together to form an hour, week, month, or year? What if we were able to travel back in time and correct a maximum of five past mistakes in a calendar year? Which mistake would you choose: (a) marrying your current spouse, (b) relocating to a new city, (c) a spontaneous shopping spree that splintered your relationship, (d) saying something hurtful to a loved one or friend, or (e) returning a call to a loved one in crisis?
Each moment we're blessed to be alive, is an opportunity for improving our lives, and the lives of those closest to us. However, a large percentage of the human population is consumed or overwhelmed with the minutia of daily living, and unable to see the larger picture.
There's beauty in life's daily moments that we oftentimes overlook. When was the last time you saw a newborn conversing with his guardian angel while sleeping in a crib, a smile the only evidence of the unseen and unheard?
When was the last time you helped an elderly lady cross the street, and lingered long enough to see her life experiences etched around her eyes and the corner of her mouth?
Can you recall the last time you took a mental health day from school or work and pampered yourself in a steaming hot bath with unhealthy snacks at your fingertips and jazz or classical music pouring forth from the stereo speakers? We all need moments to step off the merry-go-round of life to detox our system and recharge our batteries. It's for your own good, and everyone around will benefit from your reinvigorated spirit.
The next time you're rushing past your children, spouse, or straphangers during your morning commute, think about who and what you might be missing. Slow down and enjoy the small and large blessings in a given day.
Think about this way, the more time we spend alone to gather our faculties, the more quality moments in time we'd have, and thus we'd not have to step into the time machine unless it was crucial. I'm sure time travel, if it were possible and accessible to the common man, not just the world's rich or elite, would take its toll on the mind and body. Proceed with caution. You wouldn't want to return from a trip and realize you left your grandmother's signet ring on a nightstand in the past that you can't revisit because you weren't paying attention, distracted by a beautiful stranger sitting in the distance on a hillside, enjoying a moment in time, as ducks or geese glide by on placid lake.
