Job Search Reality Check

I've been having a difficult time finding a full or part-time job in recent months, perhaps due to the current American economic downturn. I'm confident that I've unique professional and personality traits that would make me an appealing employee, but the deadening silence in the apartment from the dormant phone and empty Outlook inbox say otherwise.

In recent weeks I've interviewed with a medical software company that asked that I commit for three years as a help desk agent, and when the managing partner realized that I had writing and editing abilities, he couldn't contain himself. He modified the job description on the spot, with the same low annual salary that would be locked in for three years. I'm not afraid of commitment, and am seriously seeking a stable work environment now that I've a handle of my freelance writing and editing.

Years ago, I worked in two high-pressured investment banks as a help desk agent and software trainer, but I hadn't yet settled into my writing skin. I earned a great salary, but had no healthy outlets. It would've been ideal back then when I worked three thirteen-hour days, to have had the idea to create Morningside Writers Group. Clichés aside: Everything looks better in hindsight. If I knew then what I know now.

The next most recent interview felt like being in a police lineup or a college fraternity hazing. The department manager wasn't a pleasant person, and set about explaining the reasons why he asks certain questions and deconstructing my resume. I didn't get the job. He was more impressed with himself rather than actually conducting a proper interview.

I'm not desperate quite yet. Friends have suggested Starbucks that offers benefits for part-time staff, and I'm not mistaken, tuition reimbursement for fulltime employees. I've worked in a coffee shop as an assistant manager before, which I'm not keen to do anytime soon again. I reeked of coffee daily, and was wired on caffeine to keep up with the customers' demands and employees' needs.

My goal is two-fold: a steady income and regular online and print bylines to build writing clips as I establish myself as a brand. I'm not seeking a rockstar writing career, but to earn my living as a writer, editor, and workshop leader. I don't want unattended homes on several continents, but a log cabin next to a natural lake in Upstate New York during the summers and a brownstone or three-family home in Harlem, Brooklyn, or nearby Alpine, New Jersey during the school year.

I've also other ambitions and goals that hinge upon my younger brother's relocating to the East Coast in a few years. He's a talented pastry chef and all-around cook, and we'd love to open a writer-friendly café/lounge with book readings, book signings, and occasional live entertainment.

Every job I've had until now has been educational, which I don't want to go to waste. I now know who I am and what I can offer an employer until I am able to support myself and a family from my writing, and other creative business ventures. I excel as a Project Manager and community builder, witnessed by the five-year anniversary of Morningside Writers Group. The task is to find a job that will bring out the best in me professionally and personally, leaving me time and energy afterward to continue writing film, theatre, and dance reviews, personality and neighborhood profiles.

Holiday Season & Job Search

This Christmas will be the first time in many years that Granny will not hold court from the corner of her living room sofa. She survived past Thanksgiving despite a sobering diagnosis from her doctor and hospice nurse. She waited until family returned from Sunday church service and took her last breath. I was miles away in New York when she passed away. My mother called immediately to relay the news. We went back and forth on the phone, my insisting that Granny hadn't died, she insisting that I'd have to return to help lay Granny to rest.

I was overwhelmed by the news that I'd no longer see Granny in that familiar spot, wearing her housecoat and fuzzy slippers she favored later in life when indoors.

My new job search has been ego-deflating since I returned from Houston for Granny Gums' wake and funeral. I've had no energy or desire to look for a job. I'm having difficulty watching anything on TV that deals with death. I recently watched Steel Magnolias and teared up during cemetery scene. I've never been emotional when watching funerals or death on TV and in movies. I am a big fan of Six Feet Under on HBO.

What is New Year's Eve and New Year's Day without Granny's reminding us to eat black-eyed peas for good luck?

I'm reminded of the play Death Comes To Us All, Mary Agnes, if only for the title that I'm not excluded from the death and mourning. I know the wounds will eventually heal, but it seems just like yesterday that I spoke to Granny on the phone.