Friday, February 15, 2008

Time To Heal and Reflect

A lot of time and energy is spent on being a couple, that most people forget about taking care of themselves in lieu of caring for another. It's important to share your life with family, friends, and loved ones, but not at the expense of your sanity or life.

I'm not advocating a life of isolation. Some people aren't couple material, and are able to lead healthy, rewarding, and productive lives without a significant other. Adopt a cat, dog, or exotic animal rather than deal with someone else grief.

How can I get out of bed in the morning if I'm emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausted from someone else's drama or neediness?

My granny would always say, "You don't need nobody to help you do bad, you can it by yourself." I like the simplicity in that statement. You're either helping or you're in the way.

Valentine's Day is lucrative day for chocolatiers, greeting card companies, and vacation getaways that prey upon our human guilt, jealousy, and insecurities. I'm not a total cynic, but we live in a country with a fifty percent divorce rate.

I think people need to spend more alone time before logging into, E Harmony, or any other hookup and dating website. How can I complement another, if I'm not comfortable in my own skin and where I want to be in life?

Are we so terrified to be alone that we latch onto the first available person with come hither smile? Relationships like those tend not to last, founded on weak or eventually transparent motives.

Your boyfriend shouldn't be your surrogate father, nor should your girlfriend be used as your surrogate mother. Whatever issues precede a relationship will be magnified during difficult times, family visits, and professional obligations.

Granny Grums was married to one man her entire life. They were separated by death back in 1973. Our family grew up with their relationship as a model, yet that hasn't prevented divorce in subsequent generations.

My challenge in seeking a mate is not to compare her to my granny, mother, or any of my aunts. My challenge is to try not to compensate for past mistakes, or heal wounds that I had no part in creating.

I think most of us are damaged goods in need of continuous grooming, exercising, and unconditional love. However, we must take the time to get as close to ideal as possible before casting our net into the dating and marriage sea.

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