Monday, October 03, 2005

Hudson Alley

Memories served up lukewarm like last week’s leftovers.

The original dish an accident of spontaneity and invention.

Memories that linger off-center in the back of the mind, retrieved by a scent, color, or surface.

Remembering now that she wouldn’t last for more than a few months. There was a vacant look in her eyes upon first meeting.

Remembering now the decision not to fall too deeply or become emotionally attached. The way she entered the room signaled she was just passing through.

Memories of infidelity while upstate with friends. Feeling helpless and misinformed while she taunted and seduced an alleged friend.

Remember, everyone wants happiness. Some have selective recall when it comes to other people’s joy.

Memories rising and choking like a flooding ditch down south.

Remember this journey shouldn’t be traversed. It’s unorthodox and can cause emotional damage.

Traveling back and forth along Hudson Alley is familiar and painful. When will new sites be erected?

Memories of when it all ended and she moved out and on, leaving behind ethnic porcelain miniatures she placed prominently on a bookshelf when she first arrived to make it seem more like home to her.

The house felt empty as soon as she placed her suitcases near the front door even though an emotional separation came long before her betrayal.

The memory of her face and body collapse over space and time to new memories jockeying for position.

The memories weren’t all bad. There was hope and optimism for longevity. What happened between the time she packed her suitcases in her small foreign town and landed at JFK International Airport?

Memories of what could have been must be replaced with what transpired. Hudson Alley isn’t off-limits, yet its neon lights and inviting music aren’t responsible for the patrons and businesses that populate either side of the dead-end street.

One way in, many options out. Hudson Alley isn’t for the naïve or overeducated.

Hudson Alley exists between here and infinity.

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